The goodbye.

Exit, this way --->

Urrrggghhh. I hate this feeling, you know the one, the unrelenting, imminent approach of what seemingly feels like it will never truly arrive, the "goodbye". Why can't we just be clear and concise, almost with a stiff upper lip if you like. "Thank you very much, I have had a wonderful time, but I really must go." It'd be so much easier and very polite. I know why. Because we are human and humans have those crazy little (and sometimes SUPER big) things called emotions. Cue Mariah and "Emotions."

The fact that I have been pacing my room, all 2 meters of it, for the better part of the day is not only annoying but a preventative from me doing pretty much anything (that, or I have found the pen ultimate excuse - you decide). Urrrrggghhh. Again. Sometimes I wonder if people really are cut out for the modern day relationship ideal that we all seem to crave and want to be apart of. Why? It seems to not only be a never ending slew of failures for me, but something that is starting to appear to be more elusive than, well, love.

I guess that age is a defining decision with relationships as you get older. Not the physical numbers themselves, but rather the experiences that those years have or haven't afforded you, something that is totally and utterly out of your control, it just is. But hey, that's cool too, we all have a path or paths to follow and each and every one's story is unique and brings us to the place(s) that we are meant to be at or in at exactly the right time, no matter that they be negative or positive experiences, the key word to remember here is "experience". It makes us wiser, emotionally richer, aware and hopefully more understanding couples with lots and lots of compassion. I said "hopefully".

The loss of someone that you love, whether it be physically from this world or just physically from your  day to day life, hurts, it hurts like a nail being rammed repeatedly into your heart. But we need to go through it. We need to feel that sense of loss and take time to reflect on what it is that was lost, a relationship, a friend, a lover, love. Next time it'll be better, it'll be different, I'll be different, that's what everyone says, me included. The fact is, we should have been different when it mattered, now it's too late.

How does that saying about hindsight go?

"Hindsight is gained through experience." Says it all really.