Sunday, December 22, 2013

If I could have anything...

The looks will mature over time, that's cool, you just have to be the best version of yourself at this very point in time. Nothing wrong with wanting to look good, to love what YOU see in the mirror.

What I want in my life in the future is someone that loves the look of me that he sees NOW, and then learns to love the look that he sees as the seasons change and so do we. To always remember that the real attraction comes from deep within, the ability to make each other smile, laugh, trust and love, love each other until the ends of the earth and back. To celebrate each others imperfections, what ever they may be and maybe, just maybe, turn those imperfections into the very things that set us apart from others.

To hold each others hands as we make the biggest steps in life and to also hold them when we are struggling to keep that very grip. To wake up in the morning and roll over and see someone that makes your heart stop, just for that split second. Reminding you on how truly beautiful life is, being loved, smelling the skin of someone that  only has that familiar smell unique to him, the one you have grown to love and yearn for when you are apart. But most importably, to be able to say to that person, "You are my best friend, my partner, my love".

One day, one day....

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Dreams. I really hope these ones DON'T come true...

I'm pretty sure Patti had this hair on before things started to get real.

Ok, so I had two really strange dreams last night, the first had me jumping out of my sleep and the second racing to the bathroom.

The first one involved me, Patti LaBelle and her recent move to Australia. She found me via my blog (as they do) and said she needed to be hooked up with a place to stay, a hair salon and some soulful people to hang with. Things were going great until we went out one night and when she requested that the DJ play "Lady Marmalade", well, lets just say she was shut down and told to find some singles club for that "old music". The next part of the dream was where I jumped out of my sleep, she got angry, real angry and took her wig off. That's when I woke up. I couldn't bare to see her in a hair net.

The second one was where I was at a function of some kind and some older Jewish dentist (yes, I go into great detail even in my dreams) loved my smile and wanted to give me a free check up. Conveniently, his practice was only a lift ride down and he felt the party was boring, so what better thing to do to try and break things up? Give some random an oral once over.

After my visit to the Jewish dentist (not sure why he was Jewish to be honest, maybe I have the guilt's for not doing anything for Chanukah this year and it ended on my Oma's birthday. Coincidence much?) We headed back to the party, where as per usual I was drinking and dancing up a storm. Half way through a very detailed dip in "Proud Mary" a tooth came flying out. I found it and put it in my pocket and resumed with the routine. Always the consummate professional here, especially where Tina Turner is concerned. Before the night was out, I had lost three more with the final one being a moler with a mini x-ray inside it. The Dentist told me that I had some weird "tooth falling out disease", yes that was the term he used. Needless to say, I jumped out of my sleep to check my teeth. All good.

Even when I am sleeping I am over thinking... Weird, weird man I am.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


"Love is not perfect, but it can be the most beautiful thing if both people are completely equal and honest with each other."

Monday, December 16, 2013


The time is flying. Literally.

It feels just like yesterday that I was sitting at home creating a video in celebration of my impending ten year anniversary. That was over a year ago now. I looked at that video the other day, the feelings are different now, not in a bad way, just different. That's time for you I guess.

Now, I find myself hurriedly packing my life away into lifeless boxes, trying to work out what clothes to bring with me, do I go for the larger or smaller sizes? I am trying so hard to conquer these demons that seem to manifest themselves via food. So hard. What do I bring with me? I mean I am coming back, right? I guess again, only time will be able to tell me that and right now she is saying enjoy.

This path that we tread everyday, alone, together, indifferent to the one in front of you and always looking to see who is behind you, is exciting, scary and unknown. I often find myself watching people walking, running, intense, solemn, laughing, talking into their phones as they go about their day, all the while wondering if we share that path, at least for just a minute at some point in our lives. Sometimes, I even get up to walk a few steps behind them, to see if that exact path means anything to me. I guess my experiences will be just that, mine.

It takes strength and courage to get up and move, or so I've been told. I see it as a new chapter, a part of a book that has a loose draught, but I must create the final copy, sometimes re visiting certain pages to change the things I don't like, to correct the mistakes that I overlooked when I was tired or just simply couldn't be bothered. The pages keep turning, some days its a struggle to get through just one and others, well, the pages are filled with excitement, passion and juicy plots that before you know it, the chapter is complete and needs no absolutely no changes.

So if my life is a book, a metaphor for where I have been, what I am doing and where I am going, I am just going to take each page as it comes. To read each word with vigour, to devour the salacious plots that may happen, to cry when the sad parts arrive and to always allow myself to fall in love and be completely swept up in all my story has to offer. After all, that's all we really have, some fantastic stories to hopefully look back on, that only time will be able to tell us.