Monday, September 15, 2014

Oh No. Not you again!

Fuck. Again!?

Just when you think you have nothing left to give, that everything you had emotionally was used up on previous loves, someone comes along to challenge everything you ever knew. Someone who doesn't fit the bill of anything you have ever known or imagined you would be with.

Yet through all the uncertainty and societal do's and don'ts where matters of the heart are concerned, you just know that this one, this person, will be in your life no matter what the future holds. That this person shares the same values as you, honesty, loyalty, integrity and truly gets what the words friendship and love really mean.

That everything you thought you knew, was wrong and you need to readjust your thoughts and processes on life, love and relationships. There are no excuses with this person, no reasons to not be open, no lies, no bullshit stories and an openness that is well beyond his years. This persons words have value, meaning and absolutely no hidden agenda.

I'm more scarred from the last few loves than I care to admit and in particular the last two long term ones. There were so many lies and injustices that I am scared to give my most fragile of gifts, my heart, to anyone again. But this always happens right? You think you have it ALL worked out, that you have found the love of your life and for some reason or reasons it ends, sometimes ok and sometimes bad, very bad. You swear you will NEVER EVER open your heart to anyone again, and there in the distance comes some little angry, but ever so kind, human being, marching to the beat of their own drum, born with many lifetimes behind them and a certainty of what it is they want. A soul well beyond his or her years. Where the hell did you come from and why did you choose me?

FUCK.

Love. Just go with it.