Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Lie(s).



  1. "A lie is an intentionally false statement to a person or group made by another person or group who knows it is not the whole truth. Lies can be told for various reasons and with various amounts of success."

    What an interesting way to describe something that we all have done at least once in our lives, and depending on how good we are at it, with varying degrees of success. Or as Wikipedia so interestingly describes it above "with various amounts of success".

    I myself detest lying and see little to no use for it at all. That, and the fact that I am as transparent as a piece of cellophane when it comes to spewing out anything other than the truth, no matter what the situation and/or how painful it may be to hear and receive. I guess I got that from my Oma, her truths knew NO boundaries and when I say NO boundaries, I mean she was limitless when it came to being "honest". 

    Luckily for me, I have been able to (or so I think) fine tune my ability to tell the truth into a way that gets the point across with out being rude, aggressive or offensive. But this piece is about lies and those who tell them, where the line is drawn for what is an "acceptable lie", and if in fact there is such a thing as an "acceptable lie". I mean we have all told that little white lie to a friend when they have asked us for our honest opinion on things like clothing choices, makeup and god forbid, weight. "You look amazing, I swear you have lost weight". Don't lie, you know you have said that on more than one occasion when it wasn't the truth.

    What about when lies start going into deep and murky emotional waters. Lying about being out with people when you were some else completely different, or how much you have spent on the credit card this month (bit pointless given that that there is thing called a statement, yet we still stupidly do it.) or the King of them all, that lie about fidelity and what constitutes infidelity. Uh-huh, a deafening silence in the room has arrived.

    I am pretty sure that at some point in this life we are all going to be on the receiving end of lies about love, fidelity and general relationship foes, but there will also be some of you that will be the perpetrators of these lies. The ones that cause pain, heartache, anguish, despair and in some horrific cases, death. As dramatic as it may seem, I read an article the other day of a woman who had her heart broken by a love of twenty years and willed herself into dying, she just gave up. Sad, but true.

    The amount of times I have been on the receiving end of these types of lies is limitless and has spanned my entire dating life. Hell, it probably began as a child with certain family members, I guess those lies caused all of the above too. Yes, they did. Yet, it is the lies I have been fed as an adult that has hurt me the most. As a child you are innocent, naive and prone to accepting and believing everything, it's understandable that lies are easily fed to children. But as an adult, you are generally sceptical, guarded and unsure of what the truth is, proof is needed and when your guard is finally down, that's when the liar resumes his or her prime position for attack, and in most cases, it is your heart that is the target.


    I wish I could say that it gets easier and make some PSA about lies, but it doesn't get easier. Each time it hurts as if it was the first time that someone broke your trust. Each time you question yourself on what you could have done better, how you could make yourself better, and each time you will find yourself at some point just breaking down and crying and asking yourself where, why and how it all went wrong. If you weren't the one telling the lies then its simple, it's not you in any capacity that created this. I have come to realise that it is the other person or persons complete and utter insecurity with themselves that creates this manifestation from fear that we know as lies. The truth.

    So, to come back to what is an "acceptable lie", I guess that is a question that only you will be able to answer. If you have been on the receiving end of serious lies, then I am guessing nothing is acceptable. If the truth is something you read about on a Facebook post or see in an Instagram picture, then I am guessing you are pretty much the subject of this entire feed.

    "The truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie hurts forever."