Showing posts with label Judgement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Judgement. Show all posts

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Judgement - it's not so black & white.


A lot of people ask me why I associate myself so much with black music, culture, and of course my "Queens", especially as the exterior I was given is so pale. A question that is sometimes hurled at me with disdain and an all to often questioned beyond belief.
It's a hard thing to articulate in just a few words, especially if you have never been the subject of people constantly trying to bring you down, separate you, hate you, in some cases eradicate you and all to often, dominate you. I am not saying that the race debate and the homosexuality debate go hand in hand 100%, but for me, there is some solidarity in the struggles we have faced and sadly, continue to face.
This was brought into question with me the other day when I spoke with a gay man here who was severely beaten in an all to often occurrence in Brazil, "Gay hate crimes". When he went to the police, he was laughed at and told "he was lucky to be alive" and "to get out of the station". On further investigation of the laws in Brazil, there appears to be NO law(s) that protect the rights of gay, lesbian and transgendered people here. The subject of gay hate crimes is not isolated and I am pretty sure most if not all gay people will have experienced this at some point in their lives, me included. I have been in many situations in "tolerant" São Paulo, where I have witnessed effeminate gay men being called names on trains, many times other passengers laughing along at the mockery of these people. Not one person in the myriad of incidences I have witnessed here has stood up to those people. Before you even think it, YES I DID. 
I am questioned as to why I look to role models like Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou, Nelson Mandela, Nina Simone etc. It's simple. These people lived with hate, A LOT of hate, suppression, violence, injustices and constant degradation of something they had no control over, the beautiful colours of their skins, their culture, and ultimately, themselves. Now, there will be some that are opposed to comparisons that I have dared to draw here, of course, they will be people that have never walked a day in my shoes, this I can guarantee. I am not saying and NEVER would say that I know what it is like to walk in the shoes of some of my role models I have mentioned above, even my friends that I so dearly cherish, because we all have a different journey. A journey that if you think about it, really does lead us to the same destination in the end, no matter what you do or don't believe in, who you love or even the colour of your skin.
Loving someone of the same gender is NOT a choice, you don't wake up one day and say "Hmmmm... Guys or girls today?" and anyone who thinks that really needs to try and live life as a gay person and get back to me. The sacrifices we face on the daily whether it be via acceptance from family, friends etc or even the danger that is all to apparent, is something I would not wish on my worst enemy. Don't even bring the cultural or religious argument into this either, the death penalty still exists for homosexuals in 10 countries and the "act" is illegal in a staggering 77 countries. I am not apart of a lifestyle choice, I am not doing this for attention, I am not perverted and I most certainly AM A CHILD OF GOD (Whatever or whomever he or she may be) and THIS UNIVERSE. 
My point is, at the end of the day we are all just the same, it's only our experiences that ultimately give us some difference and even those are what bring people together, and of course our own inabilities to view others as our equals. I see colour as just that, something beautiful and different, no matter whether it be white, brown, black, golden or red. The same goes for love. It's something we are all entitled to, right? Love? Isn't that what is preached to us via our religious mentors, our family life, the TVs and movies we watch, the music we listen too, don't we all just want to be loved?
I met some ladies the other night that truly inspired me to write this, to think deep about this subject and go beyond all the stereotypical associations I have become accustomed to, to get real with me and you know what I found? L.O.V.E. Yep, pure, plain and simple, love.
Be kind to each other friends, stand strong in what you believe in and always make your words and actions count. 

Always.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Change... for the better.


What is happening to me?

I have so many emotions running through my mind at the moment that I feel like I am drowning in them. I am nervous. I am excited. I am scared, yet I am feeling fearless, like I can conquer the world. I am lonely, yet I know that I am well loved by those that mean something to me. What the hell is going on?

This last year has been the hardest year for me in a very long time. I have faced fears that I never knew even existed, I have tried to retrieve my heart from the dumpster we call "love", not once, but twice, and I have to decided to leave everything that is familiar to me behind and try my hand at a new country, new language and potentially a new life. What a difference just one year can make, huh? Change.

The path of life has been a complex one for most people I think, but I also believe that we try to over complicate and over compensate when it really is not needed. Take for example right now, it's 1am in Sydney and here I am, over complicating something that should be just so easy. After all, I have made the decisions to do these things, so why I am fearful of the changes I have sought out? Is a certain amount of fear healthy? If I wasn't fearful, I guess that would make me arrogant, and some may even say entitled. I am neither of those things.

Conversations that I have had with family, friends and within my own mind, have been many of late, mainly to do with the changes that seem to be surrounding everyone and everything at the moment, a word that so often scares people senseless, change. I have seen the strongest people I know cry for fear of letting someone they love, know just that, that they love them and I have listened to the heartbreak of a friend as she confided in the silent loss of her unborn child. I have watched my own Mother cry for a brother that wants to nothing to do with her or her family, instead wants to be left alone to die in his own unspoken pain. But it was just today that I heard of someone I have grown so fond of over the last few months, tell me that one of his friends was killed in the line of fire, a job that he too shares. I didn't know what to say, my heart ached for him and for this young man's family and friends. I can't begin to even imagine what this change has brought about.

Change is fast, it is real and can happen right before our very eyes with no way of really stopping it. Embracing it is the only thing we can really do, the good and bad, we owe it to ourselves after all. I recently said "without all the pain in life, the changes, the ups and downs, I would never know what real love feels like if I had not gone through this. Almost as if it is a test of strength, a test to see and understand what it all really means." Change is good and welcomed by me with open arms. If I didn't welcome it after all, I would have no way of knowing what lies ahead of me.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” 
― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym