I am, You are, We are...?

Its a tricky thing living in a multi cultural society sometimes. But not because of the glorious shades of colour in humans, languages, foods and cultures of the difference in people that surround us, but because of the sometimes very deep rooted sentiments and prejudices that exist in a country or are brought over by those now calling said country home.

I was born in one of the most beautiful countries on this earth, Australia. My family hail from everywhere, so I guess in many ways I am the quintessential ideal of what an "Australian" really means. I have friends that have ancestors that walked the plains of Australia for 60,000 years before me and many others whose families have escaped the persecution of wars that have been ravaging this world since the dawn of time.

I have been blessed to witness Corroborees, learnt from an elder how to throw a boomerang and grew up with the sounds of many different languages dancing in my ears as well as eating the delicious foods of Europe, South America, Asia and Africa all thanks to my friends and family. To say I have been blessed is the ultimate understatement.

Is my country any different from any other that exists in the 21st century? Yes and No. Is there inequality? Sure. Is there racism? Sure. But I will say this, having travelled the world now and residing in a country that has more struggles than most in this world, I am grateful that those negative points I mentioned above are able to be spoken about, discussed, argued, disagreed and agreed with. That people in Australia have the right to voice their opinions, no matter how right or completely absurd those opinions may be. Do I wish that things like inequality and racism were non existent? 100%. Do I wish that the people who roamed the lands of Australia were given more respect and we all lived together in harmony. That goes with out saying.

I know for some that Australia day is a time for reflection and injustices and for others its a celebration of living in a free society, free of war and persecution, but I also believe that as Australians we need to really start looking toward the future, working together and stop looking at the differences in each other and finding what it is that truly connects us all. All of us.

This last year in Brazil has shown me that looking for the positives in life, not dwelling on the things we have no control over changing and bringing our children up with clear minds, free of the prejudices of our ancestors, is what will truly make for a cohesive and equal society. Its an ideal, I know, but as Mahatma Gandhi  so famously said "Be the change that YOU want to see in the world."

How ever you choose to celebrate this day or not, is up to you but I know that I am so lucky to know each and everyone of you and not for one second do I take that for granted or will I  forget to take a moment to reflect on the people that first walked the lands of Australia and pay my respects to them. Travelling the world has been the best experience of my life and one that has truly given me a new found love and respect for the country that I was so fortunate to be born in, Australia.

Time.

The time is flying. Literally.

It feels just like yesterday that I was sitting at home creating a video in celebration of my impending ten year anniversary. That was over a year ago now. I looked at that video the other day, the feelings are different now, not in a bad way, just different. That's time for you I guess.

Now, I find myself hurriedly packing my life away into lifeless boxes, trying to work out what clothes to bring with me, do I go for the larger or smaller sizes? I am trying so hard to conquer these demons that seem to manifest themselves via food. So hard. What do I bring with me? I mean I am coming back, right? I guess again, only time will be able to tell me that and right now she is saying enjoy.

This path that we tread everyday, alone, together, indifferent to the one in front of you and always looking to see who is behind you, is exciting, scary and unknown. I often find myself watching people walking, running, intense, solemn, laughing, talking into their phones as they go about their day, all the while wondering if we share that path, at least for just a minute at some point in our lives. Sometimes, I even get up to walk a few steps behind them, to see if that exact path means anything to me. I guess my experiences will be just that, mine.

It takes strength and courage to get up and move, or so I've been told. I see it as a new chapter, a part of a book that has a loose draught, but I must create the final copy, sometimes re visiting certain pages to change the things I don't like, to correct the mistakes that I overlooked when I was tired or just simply couldn't be bothered. The pages keep turning, some days its a struggle to get through just one and others, well, the pages are filled with excitement, passion and juicy plots that before you know it, the chapter is complete and needs no absolutely no changes.

So if my life is a book, a metaphor for where I have been, what I am doing and where I am going, I am just going to take each page as it comes. To read each word with vigour, to devour the salacious plots that may happen, to cry when the sad parts arrive and to always allow myself to fall in love and be completely swept up in all my story has to offer. After all, that's all we really have, some fantastic stories to hopefully look back on, that only time will be able to tell us.

Change... for the better.

What is happening to me?

I have so many emotions running through my mind at the moment that I feel like I am drowning in them. I am nervous. I am excited. I am scared, yet I am feeling fearless, like I can conquer the world. I am lonely, yet I know that I am well loved by those that mean something to me. What the hell is going on?

This last year has been the hardest year for me in a very long time. I have faced fears that I never knew even existed, I have tried to retrieve my heart from the dumpster we call "love", not once, but twice, and I have to decided to leave everything that is familiar to me behind and try my hand at a new country, new language and potentially a new life. What a difference just one year can make, huh? Change.

The path of life has been a complex one for most people I think, but I also believe that we try to over complicate and over compensate when it really is not needed. Take for example right now, it's 1am in Sydney and here I am, over complicating something that should be just so easy. After all, I have made the decisions to do these things, so why I am fearful of the changes I have sought out? Is a certain amount of fear healthy? If I wasn't fearful, I guess that would make me arrogant, and some may even say entitled. I am neither of those things.

Conversations that I have had with family, friends and within my own mind, have been many of late, mainly to do with the changes that seem to be surrounding everyone and everything at the moment, a word that so often scares people senseless, change. I have seen the strongest people I know cry for fear of letting someone they love, know just that, that they love them and I have listened to the heartbreak of a friend as she confided in the silent loss of her unborn child. I have watched my own Mother cry for a brother that wants to nothing to do with her or her family, instead wants to be left alone to die in his own unspoken pain. But it was just today that I heard of someone I have grown so fond of over the last few months, tell me that one of his friends was killed in the line of fire, a job that he too shares. I didn't know what to say, my heart ached for him and for this young man's family and friends. I can't begin to even imagine what this change has brought about.

Change is fast, it is real and can happen right before our very eyes with no way of really stopping it. Embracing it is the only thing we can really do, the good and bad, we owe it to ourselves after all. I recently said "without all the pain in life, the changes, the ups and downs, I would never know what real love feels like if I had not gone through this. Almost as if it is a test of strength, a test to see and understand what it all really means." Change is good and welcomed by me with open arms. If I didn't welcome it after all, I would have no way of knowing what lies ahead of me.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” 
― Paulo Coelho, The Devil and Miss Prym