The Year That Was, 2014.

Buh bye 2014...

To sum this year up in a few words would be absolutely impossible and do the experiences, both good and bad, no justice whatsoever. So I'm going to go right back to when my year began, December 26th, 2013. The day I boarded the plane in Sydney, bound for Las Vegas, first stop Korea.

This year was always going to be big. From the minute I decided I was going to pack my things up and have a year or so of study and life abroad (in Brazil), I knew experiences where going to be plenty. Just what those experiences would be or entail, well, none of us ever truly know how good or bad they are going to be. I got both.

Everything was going pretty smoothly, I arrived in Seoul, Korea, and spent two nights there exploring my immediate surroundings as I was alone and it was far to cold to venture out any further than what I felt comfortable with in such a short amount of time. I saw quite a bit and was able to indulge myself in one of my favourite cuisines (all things Korean) for two solid days. Heaven.

From Korea I was bound for my baby brothers wedding in Las Vegas. I like to party and so does he, so this was going to be nothing short of one week of wedded partying bliss. Joined by family and friends from all corners of the globe for his special day, I think that Las Vegas in 2013/2014 will go down as one of the happiest times of my life, definitely of this year.  I celebrated a birthday, New years and of course my brothers wedding in Las Vegas, not to mention seeing artists like Celine Dion, Boys II Men and Robin Thicke all perform whilst I was there. I needed some rest so next stop was with the parents and relatives to New York.

New York might just be my favourite city in the world. I decided to spend a month there and really explore the place, something that a career doesn't always allow for, time. I took my parents to see a broadway musical, Motown - The Musical and we shared many sights together including a trip to Washington. The hardest part of this trip was my last day with my Mum in New York and seeing the tears stream down her face as we parted. We both knew that it was going to be quite some time again before we would be together laughing, squabbling and enjoying each others company.

From the freezing cold I was off to Brasil, where I switched things up in Rio for a week. Porto Velho in Brasil's north was next, followed by my most recent and somewhat final destination of nearly a year or so now, São Paulo. This city has been nothing short of amazing for me, the people I have met, the University I studied at (FAAP) and the trials and tribulations I faced, each and everyone of those things has taught me invaluable lessons that I never dreamt I would be able to learn.

I would say love to be able to say that 2014 has been amazing and only this, but in all honesty, I am well and truly happy to put this year behind me. The lessons have been learnt, the love lost and gained, and a myriad of other things in between that have opened my eyes. I am grateful for the time I have been given here and intend to use whatever time I have left to its full potential.

Here is to a new year ahead where tolerance is a not just a word, but an action. Where people the world over truly start to mend the pains of the past and look to a future that is brighter and devoid of these "lines" that we seem so incessant on creating. I don't have children (yet), but many of my friends do and when I see their faces, in every glorious shade, I realise that all I truly want now is a world where each and everyone of those faces, no matter what their shade is, the gender, or who they choose to love, is treated with the same amount of respect and afforded the same opportunities as everyone else. The time has come for change and we all need to get onboard.

It's 2015 people. Look where we are and take that in.



Happy New Year!

A(lone)ly.

I never thought I would feel this way. Alone. No, lonely. Contrary to what people may think of me, I actually really do enjoy my own company, just not all the time. Friends to hang with and talk is something that I think I really took for granted back home, especially as I am so far from those who know and love me the most.

This country is an amazing place, really amazing. I'm in Brazil after all, and I don't take that for granted ever. But, yes there is a but, it is also a very difficult place to live. The language, culture(s), day to day living and ability to make new friends. Don't get me wrong, I haven't entirely lost my ability to make friends, but this language thing is really proving to be a major blockade for me. Again, the simplicity of being able to express myself or articulate almost anything is something that I have really taken for granted.

I look Brazilian. I get told this everyday and whilst it is probably the most flattering thing I have ever been told in my whole life, it can also pose some problems when you can't speak the language. I use my usual phrase of "Sorry, I only speak a little Portuguese", which is more often than not met with quizzical expressions and sometimes a blatant "huff". I get nervous and fumble my words. I must end up coming across rude as I hate to not be able to communicate, let alone looking like a fool, but this language, Portuguese, can be ever so hard to learn.

I miss catching the train and bus, really I do. My fears have crossed over into public transportation and it is not only upsetting but also becoming exceptionally costly (think taxi's), especially when you do not have a job. Sigh. I wish it would all just click and I could breeze into a metro station and know and understand where it was I am going. But then that would defeat the purpose of this whole trip right? I came here to challenge myself, leave the past behind and create a new future. I guess I really wasn't expecting things to be so hard. Foolish maybe, unrealistic, a lot.

The inability to commit to a time or prearranged date is also something I am not used to here. When say not used to, I mean Brazilians more often than not see no problem with not keeping to the original plan to meet, sometimes even cancelling on me when I was at the place waiting. This behaviour, although not meant with any ill intent, more so an overly relaxed approach to life, can sometimes lead to that feeling of being alone, unimportant even. People have their lives, loves and families which I totally understand, I guess that's just it, I don't have any of those here. They will come one day, hopefully.

It's Sunday afternoon and I think I will go for a walk. I love walking here, so many people, so much colour and vibrancy every where I turn. People laughing together, holding hands, eating, families discussing things, I guess in my own little way I can live through these people, observe them and be grateful that they have found happiness and love. I guess being alone is not such a bad thing after all. Actually I just realised something, I am not lonely, I am just alone, for the time being anyway.

There is a big difference.