Marriage Equality has arrived - In the US.

Lets hope it lasts.

I am sorry, I need a hot minute to absorb this. Ok, I need more than a hot minute, I need a hot hour.

Just now via my darling friend Sharla and the never ending stream of tweets from tweeters like Same.Same, BET, People Magazine and GQ, yes, even GQ is onboard with this, I now am to believe that marriage is something that will be afforded to the LGBT community. Is this shit for real?

Let me explain why I am having a hard time believing this will stick. I am happy, happier than most, as my dream has always been to get married to the one I love, the rest of world told me that the one I loved needed to have a vagina, I preferred the penis option. I digress. I had heard from the get go how wrong being gay was, that is was disgusting, perverted and more often than not likened to the worst kind of being I could have ever imagined being. As you can imagine, coming was going to be super easy with all this behind me. NOT.

Like the majority of my gay, lesbian and transgendered brothers and sisters, I came out and not to the roaring crowds full of appreciation that you may see at a Pride parade around the world, more a solemn "Are you sure?" and "OK, if that's what you want", coupled with silence and long periods at the beginning of this "coming out process" of not really talking to my family. Some of it was them not understanding me and a whole lot of it was me feeling that I had somehow brought shame upon my family, that I had let them down and ultimately, let myself down. Luckily that shit passed and things are a lot better, not perfect, but better.

I was saying to my friend Sharla that she needed to remember something, that she was speaking to a gay guy who is nearly 40 years old, who, and let's be brutally honest here, has very rarely seen or heard positive things about the community that I am meant to belong too, except from those close to me, like said (and wonderful at that) friend. I have grown up listening to people preaching from every corner of the  globe how disgusting I am meant to be, perverted, diseased and living "that" disgusting lifestyle is a choice. How I do not deserve the right of the law and very often, how these "people", my people, should be stopped with their "agenda", even eradicated from society and the earth we all share. Yes, even in 2015 this still exists, you just needle to google gay to see what comes up, or even better, ask one of your gay/lesbian/transgendered friends on their experiences in life, you'll be surprised and more often than not, deeply saddened. Violence, murder and suicide are still all to common amongst the LGBT community and hopefully this changing of laws will allow peoples fears and misconceptions to slowly dissipate.

So, whilst I am over the moon, ecstatic even, that my brothers and sisters in the US will now be seen as equals in the eyes of the law, I need a minute to process that I too may be seen as YOUR equal in the eyes of the law one day. That this may in fact be my reality, now, tomorrow and in my future. That eventually it will NOT be referred to as "Gay marriage" but rather, simply "marriage". That as a global society we will start to look at love as truly that, LOVE. That we will not associate the negative with being gay and that as humans, consenting adults, we all have the right to share a life with someone that we love, no matter what their gender, colour or religion may be. Just love.

It's taken me just over 30 minutes to write this and yes, it has finally sunk in.

What a day - June 26th, 2015.

For more information on Marriage Equality:

http://www.marriageequality.org

Time.

The time is flying. Literally.

It feels just like yesterday that I was sitting at home creating a video in celebration of my impending ten year anniversary. That was over a year ago now. I looked at that video the other day, the feelings are different now, not in a bad way, just different. That's time for you I guess.

Now, I find myself hurriedly packing my life away into lifeless boxes, trying to work out what clothes to bring with me, do I go for the larger or smaller sizes? I am trying so hard to conquer these demons that seem to manifest themselves via food. So hard. What do I bring with me? I mean I am coming back, right? I guess again, only time will be able to tell me that and right now she is saying enjoy.

This path that we tread everyday, alone, together, indifferent to the one in front of you and always looking to see who is behind you, is exciting, scary and unknown. I often find myself watching people walking, running, intense, solemn, laughing, talking into their phones as they go about their day, all the while wondering if we share that path, at least for just a minute at some point in our lives. Sometimes, I even get up to walk a few steps behind them, to see if that exact path means anything to me. I guess my experiences will be just that, mine.

It takes strength and courage to get up and move, or so I've been told. I see it as a new chapter, a part of a book that has a loose draught, but I must create the final copy, sometimes re visiting certain pages to change the things I don't like, to correct the mistakes that I overlooked when I was tired or just simply couldn't be bothered. The pages keep turning, some days its a struggle to get through just one and others, well, the pages are filled with excitement, passion and juicy plots that before you know it, the chapter is complete and needs no absolutely no changes.

So if my life is a book, a metaphor for where I have been, what I am doing and where I am going, I am just going to take each page as it comes. To read each word with vigour, to devour the salacious plots that may happen, to cry when the sad parts arrive and to always allow myself to fall in love and be completely swept up in all my story has to offer. After all, that's all we really have, some fantastic stories to hopefully look back on, that only time will be able to tell us.