Summertime Sadness.

Everything always looks better in neon.

Lana sings about it so beautifully and today, well I am having a little of it. Summertime sadness.

It may seem strange to those in the Northern hemisphere that someone who has only really ever known summer to be hot and muggy and surrounded by beaches is somewhat sad. Things like eggnog are replaced with a cold beer and the only fire that I have ever sat around at this time of the year, is a BBQ, and that can hardly be called a fire. I digress.

Many times over the last couple of months I have thought about packing it all in and calling it a day. That it was, and is too hard and the prospect of another month of uncertainties of all manner, is just not how I envisaged living my life. Yet, here I still am. I have said it before and I'll say it again, I never truly understood what the phrase "the struggle is real" meant, until I moved to Brazil a year ago.

That "struggle" is something that I seem to share with around 200 million or so people, so I am in good company. Those people for the better part, seem to have a never ending capacity to see the positives in everyday life, something that I truly admire, respect and love. In reality though, being in a foreign country and with little to no support network that you can truly rely on, can sometimes make it difficult to see those "positives". But... when in Rome...

I guess that although I am not such a big believer in "New years resolutions" (Why wait for something when you can start now), the end of a year and beginning of another can bring with them a myriad of reflections on what, where, when, how and why, both past and for the future. Reflection is good, not to dwell, but for the most part, I think it's good.

The Summertime sadness part is really just a state of season (Wintertime sadness just doesn't have the same ring) and I guess a state of mind, now that I have written out loud and reflected. Being happy is so easy for many, but happiness is something entirely different to me. It goes deeper than the smiled mask that so many feel they need to maintain, happiness cuts to the core, it's what makes you love what you do and do what you love. It's pure, real and always honest.

Summertime sadness? I'll leave it entirely up to Lana, she seems to do it so much better.

Live. Love. Learn. Laugh.

You think you know it all. You don't.

The past that has haunted you for so long seemed like it was going to be a somewhat "friendly ghost" that would just never leave. But one day it does.

The trust you so openly and honestly placed in those past loves was used, abused and thrown away like it never mattered. But deep down inside you know it did matter.

The ideals on what and who is right for you is challenged, constantly. You must remain open to something new, someone different, someone real and honest. You deserve this.

The past is just that, past. It is the present and the future where your dreams and hopes lie, dreams that are not impossible should you seize them. At the end of the day it is entirely up to you. But you know that too.

It always was and it always will be your life, love and laughter.  So live it, love it, learn from it and never ever stop laughing at it, because its completely and utterly YOURS.

Yep, YOURS.