Then, I saw you.

I saw you, ethereal and dressed in white,

Watching me as I rest, only just last night.

At first I was scared and thought it to be a dream,

You reassured me that everything was just as it may seem.

You took me to a place full of people crying and in sorrow,

When I asked what this meant, you told me I will understand all tomorrow.

As clear as you presented yourself to me,

The events that followed would be put down in history.

I spoke of what I saw and knew, something I shouldn't have done,

You warned me that people would laugh at me, thinking I was nothing more than dumb.

It was good to see you, to feel your hand on mine,

Something I had been longing for, something that always kept me in line.

I wish I could see you just one more time,

to tell you I love you and that I'm doing just fine.

Maybe I'll get one more chance just to say hi,

But for now my love, I must painfully say goodbye.

It's been a while.

"It's been a while", a phrase that has kept on popping up over the last few weeks. A phrase that I guess can go either way, positive or negative. I have felt both of late.

Yesterday marked what would have been my first partner's 49th birthday, something that he sadly was not afforded due to Cancer and a life taken way to soon, a story shared by many around the world. Lying on my bed, severely hungover from the night before antics, I found myself looking up above at the stark white ceiling of my room and uttering the words "It's been a while", ten years this August in fact. It was this remembrance of what seems like another life time now, that got me thinking just how many times I have used this phrase of late.

A message from an old lover who disappeared out of my life and was never to be seen or heard from for a year, decided to respond to one of my many messages I had sent him. A response that was honest, over due and finally in front of my eyes to read. It brought a smile to my face, a tear or two to my eyes and gave me some sort of peace in my heart. But all the time I was reading it and to be honest, for some weeks now after receiving it, I have found myself again uttering those very words: "It's been a while".

Then there's family, the core of my very existence and the people that have shaped me, supported me, loved me and always keep it real with me. My mother, whom I adore in every sense of the word, went in for a rather simple operation a couple of weeks ago and ended up nearly losing her life. No matter the age or health of someone, the possibility and actuality that death was near or has finally arrived, will never ever be a fact that can be dealt with in a rational manner. "It's been a while", in fact far too long pounded my head for well over a week after this incident.

New people coming in and out of my life are a common occurrence in a grand metropolis like São Paulo, Brazilians from other states and people from around the world all leave their mark on you and your experiences on the daily. Many a conversation is had and time and time again I keep hearing in various forms and languages, "do things for yourself and not others. Love yourself first." Words that I am so happy to share with others and yet strangely don't really listen to or even adhere to when I am the one in need of them. Maybe it's time I started listening to these words more, I can definitely say "It's been a while."

The year that was for this little bunny...

2011 was, and by the Chinese calendar still is, the year of the Rabbit. I am one of those little bunnies (24 years old in case anyone was wondering, no arguments or smirks please) and boy has this year been a pretty full on and amazing year on so many levels.

The year kicked off with a trip to Japan and Hong Kong, a trip that was made so much better by the fact that I was able to spend loads of quality time with my dear friends Shiori and Yuakri and Shiori's beautiful family. The week in Kyoto was spent wondering all over, eating delicious food between both Kyoto and Osaka and beautiful family dinners at Shiori's house full of reminiscing and a lot of laughter (plus the odd Chu hi or three!). Tokyo and Hong Kong followed and again, both cities offered us amazing cuisine, brilliant shopping and in Hong Kong's case, familiar family faces, which is always welcomed.

The beginning of 2011 also some horrific disasters in the form of the Queensland Floods which were catastrophic to say the least and the heart wrenching Tsunami and subsequent meltdown of the Fukushima  Nuclear power plant outside of Tokyo. Many lives were lost, but no one could have imagined the devastating loss that Japan would face with over 15,000 lives lost, their worst loss of lives since World War II. The floods in Thailand later in the year, which left over 3 million people displaced was not only devastating but awful for me to watch on a more personal note, worrying about my family and friends there. As per usual, Thai people being their optimistic selves, let the world know that "they were ok, and not to worry". A truly amazing country full of optimism and strength.

2011 also saw an amazing amount of stars and events visit Australia and I was there for many of them. First off the ranks was volunteering at the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras, which is one of the most amazing things I have ever been involved in. Jersey Boys was first of the rank, Chelsea Handler followed (both at the taping of her show as well as her gig @ The State Theatre), The legendary Grace Jones @ The Enmore, Maroon 5 and Sara Bareilles, Kylie Minogue (such a fantastic show), Jennifer Coolidge, Hairspray The Musical, Margaret Cho (She used one of my pics of her too!), In The Mood, Jennifer Wong (one of the hottest new comedians), Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Taylor Dayne (my 80's & 90's dance goddess), Australia's Next Top Model finale (also the finale for host Sarah Murdoch), Kate Ceberano, Janet Jackson (12 years of waiting paid off, AH-MAZING!), Dolly Parton (I cried when she came on stage, nothing more needs to be said here), KD Lang (mind blowing and complete convert), Salt N Pepa, Kathy Griffin (again totally brilliant) and finally, the chic Sade, such a stylish and beautiful show to end the year with. As you can see, this year was full of some pretty sensational concerts and events for me and loved every one of them!

This year also saw the Royal wedding of Prince William to Catherine Middleton, like his Mother Princess Diana's wedding, over a billion people around the globe watched this beautiful union take place. Later in the year saw her Majesty Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip vista Australia (for the 16th time), a visit that many touted as being their last. It was just amazing to see the crowds turn out in Canberra, Melbourne, Brisbane and Perth to welcome our head of state, something that I wish I had been able to join in on. The year also some amazing people leave this world and they are (in my opinion): Jane Russell (star of the 40's & 50's), Elizabeth Taylor (screen, fashion & pop culture legend), Loleatta Holloway (Disco Goddess), Amy Winehouse (so tragic and sad), Betty Ford (yes, that Betty Ford), Steve Jobs (Apple Chairman and C0-founder) and Heavy D (rapper).

On a more personal note, I started a new job "adding sparkle to peoples everyday lives" and for the last 6 months, have been loving every bit of the job. Three high school friends gave birth to their first born's (congratulations to Romina, Tracy and Kennelyn - three more little "bunnies") I purchased a new home, cleared a horrific amount of debt, finished my studies and learnt more about myself in 12 months than I have in the last 30 odd years. A lot of people have stated that they can not wait to see the end of 2011 whether it be for personal or professional reasons, but for me, coincidence or not, this year really has been my year, Rabbit or not :)

Bunny on Bunny action - Hong Kong 2011

Here's to a disaster free 2012 full of good health and fortune, amazing new challenges, lots of travel, more sensational music and live gigs, fashion to die for and being surrounded by my beloved partner, family and friends.

Happy New Year Everyone!!

Here are a few shots from the fireworks over the Sydney Harbour Bridge, hope you like them: