I wonder...

I wonder,

Will you find me when I am lost?

I wonder,

Will you still love me when I am old and time has weathered my face and body?

I wonder,

Will you stand by me when I am at my lowest point, and applaud me when I am at my highest?

I wonder,

Will you always walk by my side and never in my shadow?

I wonder,

Will you educate me when I am complacent and ignorant?

I wonder,

Will you laugh at me when I am silly, and always with me when we are happy?

I wonder,

Will you kiss me as I take my last breath, the way you did when we had our first?

I wonder,

Will you let me hold you when you need it the most?

I wonder,

Will you let me love you, when even you think you don't need it?

I wonder,

Will you let me read this to you when we are old, to remember a life shared?

I wonder,

If you feel the same...

The road is long...

The future is bright.

I can see the bitumen road, but I am on a dirt track, lots of stones that don't allow me to walk properly, my feet keep ever so slightly twisting. It's annoying and difficult to run on, but with patience, I will reach the road and continue my journey...

Deleted.

I must have been born in the wrong era.

I don't understand how someone can just wipe their life clean of any memories that were shared with someone, someone you said you loved. People hurt, for sure, I feel this everyday at the moment, but to just remove any shred of wonderful times shared... why?

Have I been so awful that seeing me angers or pains you? Did I do something to you that makes you want to forget my very existence? What? I just wish people talked more and not ran away at the slightest hiccup or bit of fear. Not everyone will treat you bad, not everyone has a hidden agenda and some people will love you unconditionally.

One day you will wake up and see that this was real. That I would never hurt you and yes, I have flaws like everyone else, but you learn to love those flaws just as I would yours.

Loving yourself does not mean not allowing others to love you or be loved, it means thinking of number one but also remembering that a life shared with someone special can make things so much better, that there is someone by your side who will always have your back no matter what. That when you get to be old you can hopefully look back on a wonderful life, a wonderful life shared.

I hope that our paths will cross again one day. I have been so fortunate to have known such a lovely person who showed me a beautiful country full of wonderful memories, with beautiful friends and family. It just breaks my heart that things ended so abruptly and that I don't even get the chance to talk with you, to make sure you are ok, for you to know that I still care and will always care about you.

 Maybe one of these days you will find me again, see me for who I truly am and who knows? But this is a path you need to walk and even though you don't see me, I will always be by your side...